1. Tell your kids to keep personal information, inappropriate comments and private photos to themselves. Cyber bullies trick victims, or the victim’s friends, into revealing personal or embarrassing information online and then sending it to others. Make sure your kids understand that nothing they post to Facebook, email or send over a mobile phone is truly private. This includes personal photos and comments about a teacher or someone they know. Even a friend can send it on to others, perhaps inadvertently. For example, if they are not using privacy settings correctly or have authorized “friends of friends” to see their photos, your private photo may end up with someone who can use it abusively. Be especially careful with a “friend” met online whose real identity is unknown. Experts agree that most often cyber bullies know their victims.
2. Advise your kids to never give their passwords to anyone other than you, the parent. Even to a close friend, who might accidentally pass it on or even abuse the trust in a moment of anger or poor judgment. Stealing passwords and sending cruel or untrue messages while posing as someone else is a favorite trick of cyber bullies.
3. If they see bullying, make sure they know not to laugh or join in. Besides the bully and the victim, there are often bystanders who either compound the problem with more teasing, or stand by and do nothing. Teach your children that cyber bullying is wrong and if they see it, that they should not join in nor stand idly by, but should speak out against it and tell you or another trusted adult what is happening.
4. If someone is trying to bully your child online, teach him or her not to react. Ideally, if they suspect something, they should not even read it, first because it can be upsetting and second because getting angry or responding in any way only gives the bully what he or she wants. Help your child understand the bravest and smartest thing they can do is to walk away from it and let you know.
5. Talk to your teachers and school administrators. Cyber bullying is new to all of us, and educators and legislators are trying to understand how to best handle this problem. You can help protect your child and their friends by talking to your school system to see what sort of policies and educational programs they are putting in place, and by making sure they treat this issue as a priority. Educators, administrators and counselors can work to raise awareness of cyber bullying and even help prevent it by teaching children what constitutes bullying and making it more socially unacceptable among peers.
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